Homelessness

My dearest grandma,
I owe you so many things.
I owe you time for togetherness.
I owe you care for your lonely days.
I owe you for everything that I have.

When I saw you in your longest sleep,
I regret to not call you often, no not visit you earlier, to not be able to share anything with you anymore.

I remembered every time I laid my head and cried out all my anger and pains.
I remembered how you were patiently listen and wait I fell asleep.
I remembered when you wait for me as always.
I remembered when you asked me repeatedly would I be back home quickly.
I remembered when you supported and motivated me.
I remembered when you prayed for me.

My dearest grandma in heaven,
I am abundantly blessed beyond measure.
I am grateful for every moment I spent with you.
I learned so many things from you.
I will try to be strong.
I will try to take care of my mom.
I will try to finish all wholeheartedly just like you.

Even, in the time I need to lay down and cry I don't have any home... I will go further and let the wind wipe away my tears.
I will see many people and share with them.
Cause without you, I'm homeless.
I don't have to be back home soon.
I won't feel any homesickness.
I don't need spend many days at home.
I will be wherever God wants me to be.

I will see you in heaven, smiling because you're in the best place with Jesus.

Defeating Plasmodium falciparum

After one-half year I've been in Papua, finally i got special welcoming from Plasmodium falciparum. Yeah, i got malaria. Something that I thought I would not have at least for three years of my contract here.
As my seniors said, malaria can be prevented by regular rest and meal, also happy feeling. I got those. I am one hundred percent fit! Even now, i feel well. I am still confused why should i got malaria last week.
It started on Sunday, Jan 18, i joined outing with Catholic youth to Laskar Kristus in Kertosari. I felt dizzy because it was noon bright and so hot, then i got wet because they splashed water to me.
That night i just got fever and headache. I thought it was only usual fever which would be better at night.
On Monday i forced myself to go to school and teaching, but i dropped and felt so dizzy, then got fever again. My housemates felt anxious i got malaria, they suggested me to get plenty rest and eat a lot.
I felt better so i decided to go to school again on Tuesday. Actually, i didn't feel well but i forced myself to walk to school and teach. I stand just for one class. I asked permission to leave early and had blood test.
Amazingly, I got brave suddenly to have blood test in Talenta Lima laboratory in Sentani. The result was shocking me to the moon and back hahaha.. Positive malaria tropica +4 Leukocyte 4700
The lab man said, i have to get proper treatment if late, it will be worse and affect my brain. *sigh*
I couldn't think well and just cried asking to send me back home. I don't want to be there anymore, i don't like here because i got horrible sickness here.
My boyfriend tried to comfort me, but i just felt bad mood and drop. At 3pm i got fever again. On evening, my boyfriend accompanied me to consult to doctor and get medicines. The doctor said i probably got two kind of malaria :tropica and tertiana.
From articles that I've read:
Malaria tropica is caused by plasmodium falciparum which attack brain by blood artery
Malaria tertiana is caused by plasmodium vivax which attack heart

at night i got bad headache also fever, muscle pain and felt so cold even i got sweating. I just pray and hold it as i can because i didn't want to call my housemates.
On Wednesday the cycle was better, i didn't feel too bad headache and fever, i still could hold it because i took the medicine regularly. I still couldn't eat much since i lost my appetite *FYI : lost of appetite is one of malaria symptoms.

Thursday and Friday were the same, i got bored to be at home and doing nothing. Beside that i couldn't enjoy my sleep because sometimes the headache attacked. I also felt starving for some food and beverage but i couldn't taste it well.
I had blood test again on friday evening, the result was negative malaria and 10700 for Leukocyte. I just so happy to win the war defeating malaria without hospitalized. Hahaha.. But doctor said it could be false because of the medicine effects, i have to get tested when i am not consuming malaria medicine and feel better.

Saturday and Sunday, i got better and eat much than last week. I still took antibiotics and vitamins regularly also hold myself from overwork. Because my seniors said malaria could attack back and it will be worse if it is back then.

I reflected some things from this war against malaria.
1. Without Christ, I am nothing
2. Surrender my life to Him, He is the Healer
3. Thankful for people around me, they are God's angels in my life
4. When i am about to give up being teacher here, think of Jesus, His life on earth compared to mine. I am nothing. I haven't done much as a teacher here.
Compared to His suffering on the cross, malaria is nothing.
Compared to His pain being apart from His mom, my homesickness is nothing.
Compared to all my wishlist, prayers, wants, that God hears every second, books and paperwork of my students which await on my desk those are nothing.
Compared to disappointments I've caused, my disappointment to some people is nothing.

Finally, I would like to say Jesus wins me in the war against malaria!

Just like in Matthew 8:8 and in every eucharist i love to say it repeatedly
"Tuhan, aku tidak pantas Tuhan datang padaku, tapi bersabdalah saja maka aku akan sembuh "

Thanks Jesus!

I thank God for 2014 and grateful for 2015

Believe or not, i got so many First-time experiences last year, answered prayers and challenges.
For many times, I blamed, mad, ran, and cried just like unfaithful one. I kept myself from difficulties and trials just like I was the one who could rule over my life.
I ask, but I wasn't faithful to wait His timing.
I pray, but I didn't trust in His plan.
I get,  but I wasn't thankful.

For every second, every moment, every breath, every dream, every chance and challenge, every person I met, every sorrow, every happiness all from Him then I should be thankful and grateful. For those in the past years, especially 2014, and for everything in the future that God has been planed. I welcome you, 2015.
Eben Haezer. Immanuel.

Trust God when He says "no"

As I have been praying for couple months about relationship, I have found some signs referred to His answers. I am so glad that so many chances I could know him more, I could interact with him, share, and laugh. But I don't think those are enough to conclude a 'yes' from God.

I pray for a man who loves God,
yeah, I know he is active in youth, church ministry and close to pastor... but he hasn't asked me to pray for us yet, he didn't ask me to go to church together... hmm.. can I say it is a 'not him'?

I pray for a man who loves family,
I love the way he treats her mother and grandma, he gently saying words to his mom and takes care of his grandma everyday. That's a big point for him. But he didn't ask about my family yet, even to get know my family here, he hasn't yet visit my house or my 'parents' house either... hmm... can I say that's not enough?

I pray for a man who loves me,
Almost everyday he texts me, asks my daily routines and meals... however, no action talk only is a big no, right? How can I say he loves me without praying for me, seeing me, taking care of me or warning me when I do wrong?

I pray for smart man,
Handsome and six packs are not eternal, hahaha.. we all know it well, that's why I need a smart man who will know how to cherish me, support me, teach me and share so many things with me!
Him? yeah he is quietly smart, but he doesn't think he is smart enough to me. hmm...

I pray for a leader,
as you all know, I am a dominant girl, I love to talk than to listen, I love to do all in my way rather than others, I love to get admitted, that's why I need a man who able to LEAD me. A man who able to be adored and complimented so I won't be more dominant and could listen to him.


conclusion? I couldn't conclude anything yet, I will keep praying so do you all my pals wherever you are, would you mind to pray for me too? I would like to pray for you too :)

have a great prayer time!
GBU

Chapel grade 7 Selasa, 12 Agustus 2014

Matius 5:13-16

13 ¶  "Kamu adalah garam dunia. Jika garam itu menjadi tawar, dengan apakah ia diasinkan? Tidak ada lagi gunanya selain dibuang dan diinjak orang.
14  Kamu adalah terang dunia. Kota yang terletak di atas gunung tidak mungkin tersembunyi.
15  Lagipula orang tidak menyalakan pelita lalu meletakkannya di bawah gantang, melainkan di atas kaki dian sehingga menerangi semua orang di dalam rumah itu.
16  Demikianlah hendaknya terangmu bercahaya di depan orang, supaya mereka melihat perbuatanmu yang baik dan memuliakan Bapamu yang di sorga."

Pelita tak berguna jika disimpan di dalam lemari, dan garam tak berguna jika masih berada di wadahnya.

-          Apakah fungsi garam?

o   Penyedap, bukan hanya menciptakan kesenangan bagi orang tapi kesenangan bagi Tuhan. Contoh perbuatan yang menyenangkan hati Tuhan? Tidak boleh kehilangan rasa asinnya (Lukas 14:34-35)

o   Pengawet

o   Penyembuh luka

-          Ayat 13: kamu adalah garam dunia, adalah merujuk pada eksistensi bukan hanya perubahan. Garam mempengaruhi, bukan dipengaruhi.

Contoh:merokok, mencontek, minta uang, bolos, mengobrol saat ibadah, memaki, kata kotor.

-          Ayat 16 Yesus adalah terang dunia (Yohanes 1:9), manusia hanya memantulkan terang Tuhan.

o   Terang menyolok dalam gelap

o   Terang tidak boleh disembunyikan

o   Terang memberi petunjuk

o   Terang makin dibutuhkan di tempat yang semakin gelap

o   Terang mempengaruhi yang gelap bukan sebaliknya (Yoh 1:5)

o   rumah-rumah di Palestina, tempat Yesus pada saat itu mengajar, semua rumah sangat gelap, karena biasanya hanya mempunyai satu jendela kecil dengan garis tengah kira-kira 30-40 cm saja. Pelita yang dipakai di rumah-rumah itu berbentuk seperti perahu kecil yang diisi minyak, dengan sumbu yang terapung. Biasanya pelita itu ditempatkan pada sebuah tiang kecil (dian), yang terbuat dari potongan dahan kayu. Dengan demikian maka pelita itu akan terlihat. Jelaslah bahwa fungsi utama dari pelita itu ialah untuk dapat dilihat dan dapat menyinari kegelapan sehingga menjadi terang. gambaran tentang pelita inilah yang di ambil oleh Yesus dalam hal Dia mengajarkan tentang peran dari setiap pengikutnya.

-          Dalam Filipi 2:13-16, kita dapat melihat dalam ayat ini bahwa kita harus lebih lagi menjadi terang dunia. Yesus berkata: terangmu harus memancar seperti bintang-bintang di dunia dan kita juga harus memancarkan Firman hidup. Ayat ini merupakan sebuah kunci. Yesus mengatakan dalam hal yang baik agar orang lain bisa memuliakan Bapamu di surga.

-          Seorang teolog besar (John Stott) berkata; “ jangan bertanya kenapa dunia ini semakin gelap, tetapi bertanyalah dimanakah terangnya, jangan bertanya kenapa dunia ini semakin busuk tetapi bertanyalah dimanakah garamnya”

KESIMPULAN

-          Agar dunia menikmati keberadaan kita dan mengenal Kristus, Markus 9:50 (pembawa damai)

-          Agar dunia merasakan kasih Kristus dan memuliakan-Nya (ay 14&16)

Bolang episode Kuala Lumpur 16-19 Juni 2014 (3) Batu Caves

 to travel is to walk in the way we might never imagined!

Hari pertama saya di Kuala Lumpur sederetan rencana sudah dipersiapkan oleh Kak Dwi dan saya pribadi, jujur saja memang saya tipe perencana bukan pelaksana (sisi koleris saya..hehe). Saya terus-terusan bertanya kapan dan kemana kita berjalan, saya akan memasang muka sebal kalau yang saya ingin lihat belum tercapai apalagi kalau harus nyasar dulu. Memang sih nyasar adalah bagian dari travelling, tapi kalo udah sama tour guide masih nyasar? ehm... -_-''
Jujur saja, saya kurang puas dengan fasilitas di Eclipse Guesthouse, saya sampai-sampai mengurungkan niat saya untuk mengambil gambar hostelnya, kamarnya bau apek, lembab, gelap dan pengap. Kamar mandinya kecil dan tidak begitu bersih. Lorongnya juga cenderung gelap dan sempit. Kekecewaan berikutnya terjadi saat breakfast, tidak ada air mineral disediakan atau bahkan dispenser. Pantry nya kotor dan berantakan. Sarapannya hanya roti dan selai raspberry. Kopi dan tehnya kurang menarik. Ah pokoknya ga memuaskan, berhubung saya omnivora, makan rotinya 4 lembar saya rasa cukup untuk bekal seharian.
Di depan hostel ada laundry, tapi saya tidak berencana melaundry, cukup dengan beli baju baru ehehhee..
Kami menyusuri jalanan seinget saya nyebrang, lurus terus, belok kanan ketemulah kuil Hindu ini. Kesan saya? terawat dan indah, tapi sayang kami hanya passed by dan ga sempat banyak ambil gambar.

Sri Mariaman Temple, Chinatown KL

rute monorail KL

beli single ticket di counternya

di dalam monorail ada lampu indikator stasiun yang akan dilewatin, very helpful!

elders and kiddos were so enthusiastic to climb the stairs!

view from the top! woohooo selangor!

KTM ticket from KL to Batu Caves RM 2.4

KTM KL

patung hanoman ya?bukannya warna putih harusnya? hehe

me with the doves :)

inside the main cave

me ;)

gini lho ladies seat harusnya, sempet ada cowok yg dimarahin gara2 duduk di ladies seat 

Kalau tidak salah ada 274 anak tangga untuk mencapai gua di atas, rasanya kaki mau copot gitu, sampe atas langsung beli air mineral dingin RM2, ada beberapa penjual souvenir juga di atas situ. Kejadian lucu pas di gua, beberapa wisatawan diserang monyet-monyet yang berkeliaran di gua, saya juga ikut ketakutan soalnya pas SD saya pernah diserang monyet di daerah "Kalijaga" Cirebon. Katanya sih gua itu masih aktif digunakan sebagai tempat perayaan-perayaan ibadah umat Hindu.
Sebagai pemanasan solo travelling saya coba beberapa kali foto dengan tongsis atau monopod saya, tapi alhasil saya dilihatin sama wisatawan yang lain...hahhaa... Kaki berasa mau copot pas mendarat lagi di bawah gua, rasanya capek banget gitu semalem abis nyasar terus sekarang mesti naik turun beratus-ratus anak tangga. hehe.. Meskipun hari semakin siang dan perut keroncongan, saya tetap memburu waktu untuk ke Malaka rasanya penasaran banget pengen lihat peninggalan-peninggalan bersejarah yang selalu di sebut-sebut di buku-buku sejarah.


Selanjutnya perjalanan sendirian ke Malaka ;)

First Friday Devotion: a prayer and reflection

Recently, I am so confused about so many things. Working life seems too complicated for me especially if these things come up with additional 'seasonings' like family problems and accountable partners. 

I have been prayed for my family since I was in school. Sometimes, I prayed for something that obviously I want or I need, but now, I just couldn't describe my feelings and thoughts, too many anxiety and worries that I know, it shouldn't been a problem because I have Jesus. The light, the way, the love, the redeemer of my life.

For 23 years of my life, I haven't finished my promised by myself to God. I used to use my situation to limit myself in serving Him. I had promised that I would offer my life to Him, particularly because I could be more independent since I work as a teacher in Sentani. I know that my saving and allowance would not be enough to fulfill my desire to have a happy and fancy life like my friends in Jakarta. I made up my mind by devoting my time and life to serve Him there fully, through neighborhood, church community and absolutely school as my second home.

This prayer and devotion bringing me over to a composure and contentment that all my worries should be gone, why? Because it is more than a prayer, it is a promise of assurance and an answer from God.

These writings about about First Friday Devotion  help me much to understand why and how I should pray. I hope i could strengthen you too, pals... 

So that wherever you are, whatever your problems and worries, we can devote ourselves to God in the way He had promised us. To God be the Glory!

History of First Friday Devotion 

Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus is of great antiquity in the Church. It was St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, however, who made this devotion widespread. In 1675, within the octave of the feast of Corpus Christi, our Lord appeared to her and said: "Behold this heart which, not withstanding the burning love for men with which it is consumed and exhausted, meets with no other return from most Christians than sacrilege, contempt, indifference and ingratitude, even in the sacrament of my love [the Eucharist]. But what pierces my heart most deeply is that I am subjected to these insults by persons especially consecrated to my service."

To those who show him love and who make reparation for sins, however, our Lord made a great pledge: "I promise you in the unfath­omable mercy of my heart that my omnipotent love will procure the grace of final penitence for all those who receive communion on nine successive first Fridays of the month; they will not die in my disfavor, or without having received the sacraments, since my divine heart will be their sure refuge in the last moments of their life."4

The great promise of the Sacred Heart is most consoling: the grace of final perseverance and the joy of having Jesus' heart as our sure refuge and infinite ocean of mercy in our last hour.

 To gain this grace, we must:

• Receive holy Communion on nine consecutive first Fridays.
• Have the intention of honoring the Sacred Heart of Jesus and of reaching final perseverance.
• Offer each holy Communion as an act of atonement for offenses against the Blessed Sacrament.

The Promises of the Sacred Heart of Jesus to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

1. "I will give them all the graces necessary in their state of life."  

2. "I will establish peace in their homes."  

3. "I will comfort them in their afflictions."  

4. "I will be their secure refuge during life, and above all in death." 

5. "I will bestow a large blessing upon all their undertakings." 

6. "Sinners shall find in My Heart the source and the infinite ocean of mercy."  

7. "Tepid souls shall grow fervent."  

8. "Fervent souls shall quickly mount to high perfection."  

9. "I will bless every place where a picture of My Heart shall be set up and honored."  

10. "I will give to priests the gift of touching the most hardened hearts."  

11. "Those who shall promote this devotion shall have their names written in My Heart, never to be blotted out."  

12. "I promise thee in the excessive mercy of My Heart that My all-powerful love will grant to all those who communicate on the First Friday in nine consecutive months, the grace of final penitence; they shall not die in My disgrace nor without receiving the Sacraments; My Divine heart shall be their safe refuge in this last moment."

Litany of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus

V/ Lord, have mercy. 

R/ Lord, have mercy.

V/ Christ, have mercy.

R/ Christ, have mercy.

V/ Lord, have mercy.

R/ Lord, have mercy.

V/ Jesus, hear us.

R/ Jesus, graciously hear us.

R/ for ff: have mercy on us

God, the Father of Heaven,

God, the Son, Redeemer of the world,

God, the Holy Spirit,

Holy Trinity, One God,

Heart of Jesus, Son of the Eternal Father.

Heart of Jesus, formed by the Holy Spirit in the womb of the Virgin Mother,

Heart of Jesus, substantially united to the Word of God,

Heart of Jesus, of Infinite Majesty,

Heart of Jesus, Sacred Temple of God,

Heart of Jesus, Tabernacle of the Most High,

Heart of Jesus, House of God and Gate of Heaven,

Heart of Jesus, burning furnace of charity,

Heart of Jesus, abode of justice and love,

Heart of Jesus, full of goodness and love,

Heart of Jesus, abyss of all virtues,

Heart of Jesus, most worthy of all praise,

Heart of Jesus, king and center of all hearts,

Heart of Jesus, in whom are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge,

Heart of Jesus, in whom the Father was well pleased,

Heart of Jesus, of whose fullness we have all received,

Heart of Jesus, desire of the everlasting hills,

Heart of Jesus, patient and most merciful,

Heart of Jesus, enriching all who invoke you,

Heart of Jesus, fountain of life and holiness,

Heart of Jesus, propitiation for our sins,

Heart of Jesus, loaded down with opprobrium,

Heart of Jesus, bruised for our offenses,

Heart of Jesus, obedient to death,

Heart of Jesus, pierced with a lance,

Heart of Jesus, source of all consolation,

Heart of Jesus, our life and resurrection,

Heart of Jesus, our peace and reconciliation,

Heart of Jesus, victim for our sins,

Heart of Jesus, salvation of those who trust in you,

Heart of Jesus, hope of those who die in you,

Heart of Jesus, delight of all the Saints,

Lamb of God, who take away the sins of the world.

R/ spare us, O Lord.

Lamb of God, who take away the sins of the world,

R/ graciously hear us, O Lord.

Lamb of God, who take away the sins of the world,

R/ have mercy on us.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart.

R/ Make our hearts like to yours.

Let us pray. Almighty and eternal God, look upon the Heart of your most beloved Son and upon the praises and satisfaction which he offers you in the name of sinners; and to those who implore your mercy, in your great goodness, grant forgiveness in the name of the same Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you forever and ever. 

R/ Amen.