Monday, July 21, 2014

Hatiku - a song of commitment and true love

Hatiku kusembahkan pada Mu
Kasih abadi Kau limpahkan kepadaku
1. Hati Mu slalu murah dan penyayang,
hatiku slalu cenderung berdosa
Tapi cinta Mu mengiring langkahku
Yesus penebusku.
2. Kuasa Mu slalu memeluk diriku,
kuasaku slalu menentang hukumMu
Tapi cinta Mu mengiring langkahku
Yesus penebusku.
3. Jalan Mu slalu mengarah ke Bapa,
jalanku sering diliput gulita
Tapi cinta Mu mengiring langkahku
Yesus penebusku.

this song was sang by Orang Muda Katolik Paroki Sang Penebus Sentani last Sunday. I have heard this song before, i think it was when I was in high school. Unconsciously today I repeated this song several times during teacher on duty time. I think this song is amazing, it tells us how commit ourselves to Jesus as the True Love. His heart is always kind and lovely, but our heart tend to be in sin. His power embraces us, we always defy His laws. His way heads to Father, our way were so dark.His love guide our steps, Jesus our Redeemer.

 thanks OMK Sentani to teach me how to sing this song, how to commit myself more by singing this song and how to be a part of this community.I was so blessed indeed!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

When You Love Someone

i love you but it's not so easy
to make you here with me
i wanna touch and hold you forever
but you're still in my dream
and I can't stand to wait your love is coming to my life
but I still have a time to break a silence
reff:
when you love someone just be brave to say
that you want him to be with you
when you hold your love don't ever let him go
or you will loose your chance to make your dream come true
i used to hide and watch you from a distance
and i knew you realized
i was looking for a time to get closer
at least to say hello
and I can't stand to wait your love is coming to my life

i never thought that i'm so strong
i stuck on you and wait so long
but when love comes it can't be wrong
don't ever give up, just try and try to get what you want
cause love will find the way

those are lyrics from "When you love someone" by Endah n Resa, song that illustrates my feelings recently. I don't remember how many times I admired someone and couldn't say or do anything to get his attention. Yes, i am a 'shy-shy cat' person for this thing, I couldn't say even a word in front of him.
for couples months, i have been watched someone who is fear for the Lord, smart and apparently my 'type'. I wait moments to get know each other. I don't know yet, if I am in love with him, but I begin to pray for him, asking God, is he the one.
I know i am not too patient to wait 'the right time' sometimes i became so silly. (>.<")
last night, i got my first time to say hello and had a light conversation, I mind whatever he said. Making me confuse, nervous, impressed and speechless!
I don't know if I am ready yet to have someone special, someone to pray with, someone to grow with and to be faithful in God. My feelings suddenly mixed up every time i think about relationship, it seems so hard with my family background. That's why i really want to pray for it, what is God's calling for me? family or celibate, those are special callings. Help me to understand Your will God...and one day if I am called to have a holy marriage, i would like to sing this song with my future husband. A song of commitment by Robert and Lea:
AS WE COME INTO YOUR PRESENCE LORD
LIFTING OUR HEART AS ONE, AND WITH ONE VOICE WE SING
PROMISE TO BE FAITHFUL TILL THE END
FOREVER LOVE YOU, OUR GOD
REFF:
AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE YOU LORD
TOGETHER, FOREVER, WE WILL LOVE YOU MORE
YOUR LOVE IS HIGHER THAN THE HEAVENS, KNITTED US AS ONE
GREAT IS YOUR UNFAILLING LOVE

and this galau time will be closed by this beautiful prayer:

Woman’s Prayer (written by Grace Suryani)

Lord,
I pray for a man, that will be a part of my life
A man that really loves YOU more than everything
A man that will put me in the second place of his heart
A man that lives not for himself but for YOU
The most important is…
I want a heart that really loves and thirsty of YOU
And have a desire to be likes JESUS
And he must know for whom and for what he lives
So his life is not useless
Someone that has a wise heart
Not only a smart brain
A man that not only loves me but also respect me
A man that not only adores me
But can warn me when I am wrong
A man that loves me not because of my beauty but my heart
A man that can be my best friend in every time and situation
A man that make me feel like a woman when I am beside him
I do not ask for a perfect man
But I ask for an imperfect man
A man that needs my support for his strength
A man that needs my prayer for his life
A man that needs my smile to cover his sadness
A man that needs my love so he feels being loved
A man that needs me to make his life beautiful
And… I also ask…
Make me be a woman that can make him proud
Give me a heart that really LOVES YOU
So I can love him with Your love
Not love him with my love
Give me your gentle spirit
So my beauty does not come from my outside but comes from You
Give me Your hands
That I always be able to pray for him
Give me Your eyes
So I can see many goods things in him and not the bad one
Give me Your mouth
That is filled with Your words of wisdom and encouragement
So I can support him everyday
Give me your lips
And I will smile at him every morning
And… I want that when we finally meet
Both of us can say
How great Your ART
I know that You want us to met at the right time
And You will make everything beautiful in Your time
Amen 

Monday, May 19, 2014

writing journal for relaxation

to be honest, I have not written any journal for couple months. i thought i was too busy to document any ordinary experiences.
i just read a tweet that said writing could be one of relaxation methods.
i enjoyed it much since i was in school, but lately, since in college i didn't have plenty spare time to popping out my mind through writting.

I remember my lecture said that i have to write daily journal to document each precious moment i will have in Papua. WHY? Because not all people could be there, see the beauty of this land and sea also blend with local people.
i've got all of those...
happy, sad, unforgettable moment, i'll try to write it all..
so that you, readers,wherever and whoever you are, you could feel my anxiety, happiness, sadness and homesickness...

love,
-melisa

Sunday, May 18, 2014

reflection for a life-changing moment: First Communion

today, i witnessed First Communion in Sang Penebus Catholic church. .  and the first thing that i thought was they are so lucky, because most of their parents come and accompany them in their life-changing moment... i have read communion means becoming one with Chirst.. what an unforgettable moment, isn't it?
my mind flied to 13 years ago, when i was 3rd grader in St. Joseph Cathollic Church, Cirebon and with a proud heart I told my parents I had finished my preparation course and i invited them to witness my First Communion. 
i was only a little girl, and guess what was my feeling? disappointed and hurted.. but my mother could come and accompanied me, i remember that because i had seen the photo. 
i asked myself, why did they not want to come as other friends' parents came? i remember even my white gown that my friends talked about was my older sister's. 
i asked GOD why was my parents not as care as the other parents?
ihad neen tried to get all my teachers' signs in my prep course book, i was dilligently came to church to see how people receiving Holy Communion since my dad did not come to church and my mom rarely accompanied me, i always came with my grandma who also did not want to enter the church anyway. 
i questioned myself, God, my sister and my brother... yet none of my family could answer my question.
today, i heard after they received Holy Communion they together praying for themselves, their parents and teachers. 
i think about my experience as little girl, what prayer that i did at that day? could I pray for my parents even though they was disappointing me?
i cried in my prayer, thank GOD i am who i am that You've chosen from the beginning, You've  called my mother to baptized me in Catholic faith, thank YOU because You've planned a beautiful plan for me in my family... because i've gotten the very best part, to pray for my parents not only for healthy and wealthy, but to Know YOU and love YOU, as  YOU have loved and always love me
maybe for many people would say, it's impossible for parents who didnot know God to  raise their children in God,but i want to tell you this my mess turns to messges nd my trial turns to testimony.
after years i have struggled about my parents, last year my dad said "just pray, pray to GOD" 
My tears fell, thank GOD, even though it will take more than years, it will take a longer time to change their heart, i will pray that one day we will have Holy Communion together, and my family can testify Your blessings bless us aabundantly.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Palm Sunday in Sang Penebus Catholic Church


Meskipun ini bukan kali pertama saya merayakan Minggu Palma tidak di gereja 'kampung halaman' saya begitu merasa kuatir. Mengapa? Karena tepat hari sebelumnya, terjadi kericuhan antarkampung di dekat tempat tinggal saya sekarang ini. Kericuhan itu sontak membuat saya dan teman-teman guru lainnya mencari tempat yang lebih aman untuk berlindung. Bersyukur, karena ada Bapak dan Ibu Djarot yang bersedia menampung kami para 'pengungsi dadakan' dan mengajak saya ber-misa bersama.
Jujur, saya agak trauma dengan kejadian Sabtu lalu, karena saya melihat dan mendengar sendiri suara tembakan dan orang-orang kampung yang berlarian mengungsi ke hutan. Saya berpikir satu kalimat yang singkat namun berat. "Karena bagiku hidup adalah Kristus dan mati adalah keuntungan." -Flp 1:21
Saya tidak akan berpikir bahwa saya akan mati saat itu, namun mendengar tembakan senapan dan orang yang terkena panah membuat saya sangat takut jika saya atau orang lainnya harus menjadi korban dari kekisruhan yang saya dan mereka sendiri tidak tahu sebabnya.
Saya bertanya dalam hati, apakah ini yang orang-orang lakukan untuk mempersiapkan diri menyambut Paskah? Saya yakin, dengan mayoritas penduduk yang Kristen, tidak mungkin jika mereka tidak tahu ini adalah masa PraPaskah, terlepas dari apapun denominasi gerejanya. 
Saya mengingat rasa takut dan kesal saya kemarin, tapi mungkin juga saya melakukan hal yang sama dengan mereka, berperang dan saling menyakiti, dalam sikap dan keseharian saya dengan rekan kerja ataupun dengan siswa-siswi yang saya temui di sekolah. Mungkin saya 'memanah' mereka dengan kata yang sinis dan menyakitkan, atau tidak mau berbagi dengan mereka yang membutuhkan.

Sepagi mungkin saya bangun dan bersiap untuk ke gereja, karena menurut Bapak dan Ibu Djarot akan sulit mencari parkiran sehingga kami berjalan kaki ke gereja yang kebetulan letaknya tidak terlalu jauh. Kami tidak membawa daun palma karena tidak menemukan pohon palma di sekitar rumah dan kemarin terlalu sibuk dengan aksi pengungsian saya. ;p
Beberapa menit sebelum misa dimulai saya sudah tiba di sebuah sekolah yang dijadikan tempat berkumpul sebelum perarakan menuju gereja dimulai. Ternyata umat diminta berbaris bersama komunitas basis atau kombasnya masing-masing. Saya yang ceritanya adalah pengungsi dadakan tidak termasuk kombas manapun yang ada di situ karena menurut tempat tinggal, saya termasuk dalam Stasi St. Stefanus Martir I Kampung Harapan, kombas St. Maria Magdalena. Saya turut dalam kombas Bapak dan Ibu, kombas St. Kristoforus. Sayat idak banyak mengenal jemaat di gereja ini, hanya beberapa orang yang saya pernah lihat sesekali di gereja.
Perarakannya berbeda sekali dengan sewaktu saya di gereja St. Yosef atau Bunda Maria Cirebon, biasanya perarakan dimulai dari halaman gereja ke dalam gereja, misa pun tetap seperti biasa frekuensinya hanya yang misa pagi akan ada perarakan, selebihnya tidak ada. Sedangkan di gereja Sentani ini misa dijadikan satu kali dan perarakan dimulai dari luar area gereja. Jarak sekolah tempat kami berkumpul ke gereja tidak terlalu jauh, namun cukup menimbulkan kemacetan lokal dan diatur oleh pak polisi.
We commemorated Christ's entry into Jerusalem for the completion of the Paschal Mystery. In the old calendar before Vatican II, the Church celebrated Passion Sunday two Sundays before Easter, and then Palm Sunday was the beginning of Holy Week. The Church has combined the two to reinforce the solemnity of Holy Week.
The Palm Sunday procession is formed of Christians who, in the "fullness of faith," make their own the gesture of the Jews and endow it with its full significance. Following the Jews' example we proclaim Christ as a Victor... Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord. But by our faith we know, as they did not, all that His triumph stands for. He is the Messiah, the Son of David and the Son of God. He is the sign of contradiction, acclaimed by some and reviled by others. Sent into this world to wrest us from sin and the power of Satan, He underwent His Passion, the punishment for our sins, but issues forth triumphant from the tomb, the victor over death, making our peace with God and taking us with Him into the kingdom of His Father in heaven.
Ya! Minggu Palma mengingatkan kita bahwa Kristus memulai karya keselamatan umat manusia. Ia tidak hanya dimuliakan oleh manusia yang dapat berubah dan mengkhianatinya, Ia dimuliakan oleh Allah Bapa karena telah mendamaikan manusia dengan Allah. Saya tidak tahu apakah kata-kata saya tepat tersusun, tapi itulah yang saya renungkan. Saya memuliakan Yesus, namun tidak lama kemudian membicarakan orang lain, atau memikirkan hal yang lain atau berbuat hal lainnya yang tidak berbeda dengan apa yang dilakukan oleh orang-orang Yahudi masa itu. Bedanya, Yesus tidak ada lagi bersama manusia di bumi, jika ada entah berapa kali Ia harus dicambuk, dihina dan disalibkan.
Aku menunduk sekali lagi. Aku tidak layak. "Apakah hidupku telah tertidur seperti murid-murid Yesus di taman Getsemani?"



I thank God for this opportunity, I could celebrated this Holy Week in this blessed land. I remember what the pastor said during sermon, 'carry the palm and tell the world Hosana! Bring that home and put it where people could see, it might be a sign of the King of Peace's children.

Have a deep Holy Week!

sumber: 
http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/calendar/day.cfm?date=2014-4-13


Monday, March 10, 2014

History of Lent

As I start my first Lent season in this Blessed Land, I reflect, why should we have Lent as a Catholic? Is it only a tradition? Is it only a church decree?
Let us read this good article about the history of Lent so that we can prepare our heart well :) I did not write this article. I took it from a Catholic faith website. 

by FR. WILLIAM SAUNDERS

What are the origins of Lent? Did the Church always have this time before Easter?

Lent is a special time of prayer, penance, sacrifice and good works in preparation of the celebration of Easter. In the desire to renew the liturgical practices of the Church, The Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy of Vatican Council II stated, "The two elements which are especially characteristic of Lent -- the recalling of baptism or the preparation for it, and penance -- should be given greater emphasis in the liturgy and in liturgical catechesis. It is by means of them that the Church prepares the faithful for the celebration of Easter, while they hear God's word more frequently and devote more time to prayer" (no. 109). The word Lent itself is derived from the Anglo-Saxon words lencten, meaning "Spring," and lenctentid, which literally means not only "Springtide" but also was the word for "March," the month in which the majority of Lent falls.
Since the earliest times of the Church, there is evidence of some kind of Lenten preparation for Easter. For instance, St. Irenaeus (d. 203) wrote to Pope St. Victor I, commenting on the celebration of Easter and the differences between practices in the East and the West: "The dispute is not only about the day, but also about the actual character of the fast. Some think that they ought to fast for one day, some for two, others for still more; some make their 'day' last 40 hours on end. Such variation in the observance did not originate in our own day, but very much earlier, in the time of our forefathers" (Eusebius, History of the Church, V, 24). When Rufinus translated this passage from Greek into Latin, the punctuation made between "40" and "hours" made the meaning to appear to be "40 days, twenty-four hours a day." The importance of the passage, nevertheless, remains that since the time of "our forefathers" -- always an expression for the apostles -- a 40-day period of Lenten preparation existed. However, the actual practices and duration of Lent were still not homogenous throughout the Church.
Lent becomes more regularized after the legalization of Christianity in A.D. 313. The Council of Nicea (325), in its disciplinary canons, noted that two provincial synods should be held each year, "one before the 40 days of Lent." St. Athanasius (d. 373) in this "Festal Letters" implored his congregation to make a 40-day fast prior to the more intense fasting of Holy Week. St. Cyril of Jerusalem (d. 386) in his Catechectical Lectures, which are the paradigm for our current RCIA programs, had 18 pre-baptismal instructions given to the catechumens during Lent. St. Cyril of Alexandria (d. 444) in his series of "Festal Letters" also noted the practices and duration of Lent, emphasizing the 40-day period of fasting. Finally, Pope St. Leo (d. 461) preached that the faithful must "fulfill with their fasts the Apostolic institution of the 40 days," again noting the apostolic origins of Lent. One can safely conclude that by the end of the fourth century, the 40-day period of Easter preparation known as Lent existed, and that prayer and fasting constituted its primary spiritual exercises.
Of course, the number "40" has always had special spiritual significance regarding preparation. On Mount Sinai, preparing to receive the Ten Commandments, "Moses stayed there with the Lord for 40 days and 40 nights, without eating any food or drinking any water" (Ex 34:28). Elijah walked "40 days and 40 nights" to the mountain of the Lord, Mount Horeb (another name for Sinai) (I Kgs 19:8). Most importantly, Jesus fasted and prayed for "40 days and 40 nights" in the desert before He began His public ministry (Mt 4:2).
Once the 40 days of Lent were established, the next development concerned how much fasting was to be done. In Jerusalem, for instance, people fasted for 40 days, Monday through Friday, but not on Saturday or Sunday, thereby making Lent last for eight weeks. In Rome and in the West, people fasted for six weeks, Monday through Saturday, thereby making Lent last for six weeks. Eventually, the practice prevailed of fasting for six days a week over the course of six weeks, and Ash Wednesday was instituted to bring the number of fast days before Easter to 40. The rules of fasting varied. First, some areas of the Church abstained from all forms of meat and animal products, while others made exceptions for food like fish. For example, Pope St. Gregory (d. 604), writing to St. Augustine of Canterbury, issued the following rule: "We abstain from flesh, meat, and from all things that come from flesh, as milk, cheese and eggs."
Nevertheless, I was always taught, "If you gave something up for the Lord, tough it out. Don't act like a Pharisee looking for a loophole."
Second, the general rule was for a person to have one meal a day, in the evening or at 3 p.m.
These Lenten fasting rules also evolved. Eventually, a smaller repast was allowed during the day to keep up one's strength from manual labor. Eating fish was allowed, and later eating meat was also allowed through the week except on Ash Wednesday and Friday. Dispensations were given for eating dairy products if a pious work was performed, and eventually this rule was relaxed totally. (However, the abstinence from even dairy products led to the practice of blessing Easter eggs and eating pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday.)
Over the years, modifications have been made to the Lenten observances, making our practices not only simple but also easy. Ash Wednesday still marks the beginning of Lent, which lasts for 40 days, not including Sundays. The present fasting and abstinence laws are very simple: On Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, the faithful fast (having only one full meal a day and smaller snacks to keep up one's strength) and abstain from meat; on the other Fridays of Lent, the faithful abstain from meat. People are still encouraged "to give up something" for Lent as a sacrifice. (An interesting note is that technically on Sundays and solemnities like St. Joseph's Day (March 19) and the Annunciation (March 25), one is exempt and can partake of whatever has been offered up for Lent.
Nevertheless, I was always taught, "If you gave something up for the Lord, tough it out. Don't act like a Pharisee looking for a loophole." Moreover, an emphasis must be placed on performing spiritual works, like attending the Stations of the Cross, attending Mass, making a weekly holy hour before the Blessed Sacrament, taking time for personal prayer and spiritual reading and most especially making a good confession and receiving sacramental absolution. Although the practices may have evolved over the centuries, the focus remains the same: to repent of sin, to renew our faith and to prepare to celebrate joyfully the mysteries of our salvation.




ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Saunders, Rev. William. "History of Lent." Arlington Catholic Herald.
This article is reprinted with permission from Arlington Catholic Herald.
THE AUTHOR
Father William P. Saunders is pastor of Our Lady of Hope Parish in Potomac Falls and former dean of the Notre Dame Graduate School of Christendom College. Father has been writing his weekly "Straight Answers" column for the Arlington Catholic Herald since 1993. The above article is one of those "Straight Answers" columns. Father Saunders is the author of Straight Answers, Answers to 100 Questions about the Catholic Faith, a book based on 100 of his columns and published by Cathedral Press in Baltimore.
Copyright © 2002 Arlington Catholic Herald

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Bolang episode Biak: Christmas eve in St. Maria diangkat ke surga Catholic Church

Christmas is only a season of christmas when Christ isn't the reason. This Christmas mass was different than I used to. It was not the first time I celebrated it without family. I haven't celebrated it yet with my family and had mass with them even once. I wish someday I could have once...
I had mass for this Christmas in a new land, in a new phase of life, as a teacher, which is the calling that He wanted me to be. But since it was not in my hometown neither my current domicile, I felt I was a stranger there.
My junior, Tika accompanied me to have mass there. This Church is the only Catholic church in Biak, she said that there are not many local people who are Catholic, most of them are Protestant.
twilight before Christmas eve

inside the church, I came early so there weren't many people yet



Merry Christmas from the east of Indonesia!

Thank you, Biak... i want to keep being grateful wherever I am.

 Thanks God for every people that you've called. Christmas happens everyday in our heart.